Weddings Without Bridesmaids and Groomsmen?
As my partner Kate and I were on planning our wedding, one thing that we contemplated was if we should have a bridal party. We were in our mid-thirties and as is true for most people, our circle of friends had gotten smaller but much closer. We wanted to feature and celebrate those relationships in some way that was heartfelt without the pageantry of a traditional bridal party. More of this later.
Drawing from this experience and more than a decade of capturing weddings as a Seattle Wedding Photographer, I’m sharing some wisdom to help you in this significant decision:
Related Posts: Check out my full wedding planning guide
Personal Bonds
In my observations, younger couples tend to opt for larger bridal parties, while older ones have smaller, more intimate groups. This underscores the notion that as we age, our relationships tend to deepen and become more select.
Prioritize those who truly matter. Your bridal party should be made up of trusted friends and cherished family members who have been there for you not just in the past, but whom you also believe will stand by you for the long haul.
Resist the Social and Traditional Pressures
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by social and traditional expectations when planning a wedding. This day is ultimately about you. Give yourself permission to let go of these pressures and do what feels right for you. Whether it’s bucking tradition by opting for a non-traditional bridal party or making choices that reflect your unique relationship, prioritize what will make you happiest on your wedding day.
Temperament
Think about their individual temperament and how they will contribute to your wedding day experience. Will they be supportive, reliable, and drama-free? Will they make the day about themselves or create a distraction? Consider whether they will be able to handle the responsibilities of being part of the bridal party; especially assisting you during the day without needing to be managed.
Additional Stress Factor
I’ve seen firsthand that the larger the wedding party, the higher logistical challenges and potential stress for couples. Managing a larger group of people can become overwhelming and could put pressure on you. Aim to strike a balance between including your nearest and dearest while also keeping the logistical aspects manageable. Prioritizing your peace of mind and enjoyment of your wedding day is what really matters.
Tony’s Thoughts
Our alternative for not having a bridal party
Kate and I made the decision to forgo having a traditional bridal party. Instead, we wanted to honor our closest friends in a meaningful way, so we assigned each of them a special role in our wedding celebration: We gave them a toast at the reception; had them do a reading during the ceremony; they joined us as we got ready; and they received a special acknowledgment during the ceremony to recognize their significance in our lives. They were all touched that we celebrated them in such a thoughtful way and nobody’s feeling were hurt.
Tony’s Recommendation
My ultimate recommendation is to follow your heart and choose what feels right for you. The most important thing is the love and support that your friends and family bring to your special day. If they truly embody those qualities, then the decision becomes clear and easy.
A final note: If you do decide to have a bridal party, for the sakes of your meticulous wedding photographer’s (who may have a touch of OCD like me) sanity, consider using an equal number of bridesmaids and groomsmen so the line-up in the photos is symmetrical.
